“C’est la vie.”
(Note: I wrote this during several très longue tests of patience. See the bottom* for details.)
I had the same teacher during all four years of French in high school. I have many memories of that class that, 17+ years later, still influence the way I learn and teach. But one memory that left the greatest impression was about a simple go-to phrase my teacher would often use to reply to whiny students:
C’est la vie.
(That’s life.)
Having been your typical perfectionist A student, I was not the type to complain about boring assignments, grades, or heavy workloads (even though I painfully wished for major changes to the American educational system - a subject for another day). So I found humor in my teacher’s nonchalant yet effective approach to getting students to stop complaining and move on. It was so useful, in fact, that some of the students (including myself) adopted the phrase into their daily vocabulary:
Teacher to class: Excuses won’t work in my class. I know you have a lot of exams this week, but that’s just how it is.
Student: C’est la vie, Madame!
Teacher: Oui! C’est la vie…
Although its English equivalent is used in the United States to say the same thing for the same reasons, saying it in French seemed somehow more meaningful - perhaps due to the fact that, while learning the language, we were supposed to also be thinking like the French - and that included feeling like the French might feel. Many times since then, I have used “c’est la vie” to express thoughts that, while verbose in English, can be summarized so eloquently in French:
Although it may be impossible to accomplish everything we want to in this short life, we should be peaceful with the fact that were never meant to do it all. This life is finite for a reason, and although the reasoning of this universe often eludes us, it is there, waiting for us to understand.
It is important to continuously move on, even amidst challenges, never letting obstacles stand in our way - for challenges are but one of many stepping stones in the path of a well-lived, well-worn, and full-hearted life.
We must accept that life is sometimes disappointing and hard, yet we must be willing to move through and beyond those hardships gracefully; through this grace, we achieve wisdom, strength, and inner peace.
It is also a mantra so powerful, you only need say it once to feel its truth resonate to your core. So, next time you are faced with delays when you are already behind schedule, malfunctions after you just-finished-fixing-it, a bad cold the same day you are supposed to give a presentation, or any other reason to throw your hands up in anger: Instead of giving up, take a deep breath. Then take the next step, any step, and keep going.
And remember: C’est la vie.
***
* Tests of Patience that inspired this post:
A delivery company notified me via email that I would receive my large, expensive order on a specific date and that they would call me in the morning with a delivery window. I cleared my day of work and errands and waited… all day. With no word. The next day, I stayed close to home, just in case they were going to call me just before arriving (this happened before). Well, they didn’t show. With no way to contact the company, I could only hope they were still planning to contact me before arriving, because I couldn’t stay home indefinitely while waiting for them to show up. I also considered the worst - that my items just disappeared into thin air and that they were never going to show up. Fortunately, I received a phone call - a week later - that my delivery would take place the following day. This reminded me of certain norms in France - for example: Having to wait significantly longer than planned because the company in question simply feels like taking their time. Or that no one contacts you when they said they would, and it’s nearly impossible to get in touch with them - just because. C’est la vie.
On July 14th, I received my official offer for a job in France as an English teaching assistant through TAPIF (Teaching Assistant Program In France) and France Education International (more on this soon!). The contract has a start date of October 1st and ends at the end of April. However, due to coronavirus-related French-American border closures, I and 1000+ others, hired as teaching assistants, were not legally allowed to get the visa necessary for entry into France. We were told to wait until the government decided whether or not to change the restrictions - which was not guaranteed to happen. If it did happen, it may not be for several another couple weeks or months - we had to play the waiting game with no further information to help us prepare. And how does one implement life-changing decisions, and make plans to uproot one’s current life in preparation for a long séjour en France, without knowing for sure whether or not we will ever be legally allowed to go?! Then August 26th, one and a half months after our job acceptance, we received the official approval to apply for visas. But this was only one step in a longer chain of tedious and trying steps filled with uncertainty. Some teaching assistants are still unable to arrive in France - however, at the time of writing this, I am currently waiting at the airport, about to board the plane to go to France.
